


Secrets Secrets are no fun...

by orphan_account



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Crack, Gen, Humor, No Fluff, No Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-26
Updated: 2017-01-26
Packaged: 2018-09-20 00:46:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9467999
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: ...Unless you share with everyone.The weird and horrifying quirks of Hanzo, Genji, and McCree come out in to the open, one way or another.Hanzo's weird fetishes, Genji's favorite popstar, and McCree's new toy should never see the light of day. Neither should Genji's strange Amazon purchases. But anything that can go wrong, will go wrong, right?





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is really weird. I got really bored in class and started writing this, and now the monstrosity is released.
> 
> Kudos are appreciated! Comments make my day. Art based on my fics ends my life (In a good way).
> 
> Idk how to indent paragraphs in the Rich Text editor, tab doesn't really do anything... Please let me know in the comments if you'd be so kind.

 

McCree had become worried for his dear friend Hanzo. Ever since Hanzo had become more immersed in the internet, he seemed... different. McCree couldn't put his finger on it, but he knew that something was up.

 

He'd started living with the Shimada brothers earlier the same year, and they seemed like the same people they were in public. A little quirkier, but all the same nonetheless. However, ever since Genji had bought Hanzo a laptop, things began to change.

 

His suspicion began when Hanzo had taken the two out to see a children's movie. Zootopia, to be exact. He said that he read about it on some internet forum, but McCree was still surprised that the three had gone out to see a children's movie. Hanzo said that it was for “teambuilding”. McCree decided not to give it a second thought.

 

He was fixated with the movie the entire time. He barely picked at his popcorn( _A good $20 wasted_ , McCree thought.) and he didn't even get up to use the bathroom after downing one of those gargantuan movie theater sodas. McCree knew that the man was a bit strange, but this raised a few red flags.

 

Furthermore, Hanzo didn't seem to be sleeping that much. He could hear the laptop's keyboard clicking when he walked by Hanzo's room at night when he headed to bed. And, every time it was McCree's turn to go shopping, the word “Coffee” was written and underlined three times.

 

He ended up turning to Genji with all of his suspicions, telling him about his worries for the archer. But when he did, Genji just let out his robotic laugh, as if he knew something McCree didn't. He beckoned for McCree to follow behind him, and the two walked to Hanzo's door.

 

Suddenly, the cyborg kicked down the door. Hanzo fell out of his chair in surprise and shock. Genji flicked on the lights, and McCree looked around for any signals of distress. Stacks of tissues, blades, bottles, anything. But what he found was much, much worse.

 

Looking over at Hanzo's laptop screen, he saw something horrifying.

 

Anthropomorphic animals. And they were eating eachother.

 

Hanzo scrambled to slam the screen shut, but the damage was done. Genji burst out into laughter.

 

“HANZO IS THAT VORE”

 

“BROTHER YOU AND THE COWAN NEED TO LEAVE IMMEDIATELY”

 

With Hanzo's weird fetishes in his mind, McCree darted to his room to rethink his life.

 


End file.
